Scene: A gun range. Snappy fires a G31 .357. Bitey watches.
Bitey: Hey Snaps. Did you ever wonder if people who play video games also own guns? I mean more than other people?
Snappy: [Pow, pow, pow.]
Bitey: Good shot! What about mentally ill people? Do lots of them own guns?
Snappy: [Pah-ya.]
Bitey: How about people with criminal records? Guns galore?
Snappy: Hush.
Bitey: Sorry. But do you know whether or not video game people on average have more mental illness than other folks? Or do violent things? And do mentally ill people commit more acts of violence?
Snappy: [Rat-tat-tat.]
Bitey: Okay. Fair enough. But do mentally ill video game players tend to hurt others? Mentally ill gun owners?
Snappy: [Clacketa-clacketa-clacketa.]
Bitey: What percentage of guns belong to criminals? Do state gun laws prohibit criminals from owning guns? Possessing guns? Gazing longingly at guns?
Snappy: I think that I shall never see a weapon lovelier than this Uzi.
Bitey: She's a beaut, alright! But I wonder what second amendment rights mentally ill people have? Criminals? Mentally ill criminals? Mentally ill people who play video games? Drunk people?
Snappy: [Fwoosh.]
Bitey: Do life insurance companies charge gun owners lower premiums? What about liability insurers? Because of gun owners' superb safety record, you know?
Snappy: [Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.]
Bitey: Does the training for getting a permit to conceal a weapon on your person teach you how to shoot in a crowd? Do you learn how to kill (or at least disable) a drunk and angry mentally ill video game player as he wields a semi-automatic assault rifle with a 100-round magazine?
Snappy: A well Regulated militia.
Bitey: Does anyone track crimes by people who have secret-carry permits? Misuse of firearms by secret-carry folks? Why not?
Snappy: Being necessary to the security of a free State.
Bitey: Why do second-amendment supporters seem mad? Do assault-weapon owners also buy monster pickup trucks and red sports cars? Does the styling of assault weapons serve any useful function for hunters or target-shooters?
Snappy: The right of the people.
Bitey: Do people have a right not to fear gun violence by angry second amendment supporters who display assault weapons at public gatherings?
Snappy: To keep and bear arms.
Bitey: Why doesn't the second amendment limit the kinds of guns people have the right to keep and bear to the exact types that existed in 1791? And how do premature deaths of people in the homes of gun owners compare with the number in the home of non-gun owners?
Snappy: Shall not be infringed. [Ka-boom!]
Fade to black.
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